Trying to pace myself.

I love our home-centered life of family togetherness, I truly love the old-fashioned domestic work I do each day, I love schooling the children at home...yet although this lifestyle might be reminiscent of a simpler time, some days it feels anything but simple!

Some days, if I am not careful to pace myself, I just run around in circles going crazy, not knowing what to do next.

Today is pretty typical. The house is messy, of course. Everywhere I walk, crumbs and random floor debris and sometimes even bits of oatmeal stick to my socks (which have holes in them, but I don't have time to go shopping for new ones). The laundry is piling up to a veritable mountain because I didn't do it for one day. I have five packages for customers I need to get ready for shipping, that are sitting there waiting for me. I tried to get them done this morning, but Amy wouldn't stop crying--I believe she is teething right now and is much fussier than usual--so I paused to nurse her and put her down for a nap, and then I grabbed a quick shower and then it was time to give the other children lunch, and then we returned to lessons, which didn't go very well because Amy was awake again, and not happy.

Once lessons were somewhat finished I put Amy down for another nap, left the children with Kira (who is almost 13) for a few minutes and took a brisk walk to the nearby dollar store to pick up a few little things we needed. When I got back, I made up a batch of pumpkin muffins, which was accomplished because the boys were both playing video games...an activity I try to keep under control, but sometimes it's so useful to keep them quiet and out of trouble for a little while!

Now, I am sitting down for a few minutes to write this post and enjoy a muffin and cup of tea. The boys are playing outside, Kira and the baby are watching Kiki's Delivery Service, and things seem calm for now. Yet, there is still laundry I need to do. The garbage needs to be taken out. There is bread to go into the oven. Chris will be home from work very soon and I will need to start making supper. After supper, although we normally like to relax and have family time, I know I will need to get those packages wrapped up--our customers mean a great deal to us and I don't want to keep them waiting! This will take a big chunk of the evening. By the time I do that, and get the supper dishes cleared away, and if I am lucky, find time to sweep these dirty floors, it will be time to start the bedtime routine, which is lengthy because I stubbornly insist on reading each boy a bedtime story, no matter how busy or tired I am. After everyone is in bed I will fold the laundry, organize school materials, and write my 'to do' list for tomorrow. Maybe Chris and I will watch something funny on Youtube for a few minutes before bedtime.

I will get a fair amount accomplished today, but there is so much more I need to do. I have not yet started the quilt I want to make Jasper for Christmas. Every day I write on my list "cut quilt squares" and every day I don't get around to it. I need to start work on other Christmas gifts too, but have done nothing! I also wanted to make Christmas stockings for the children this year from some holiday fabric I was given, but I know I will probably never get to it. (If I had been smart, I would have started that project back in the summer when I had time!)

All week I have wanted to make it to Sears to buy us all some much-needed new pajamas and slippers, since all sleepwear and slippers were 40% off this week. I haven't had a single chance to drive all the way out to the mall and I know now I am going to miss the sale. Poor Kira, her pajama pants are halfway up to her knees!

There are several letters I'd like to write to friends, but they remain unwritten day after day.

And need I mention that the bathtub has needed to be scrubbed for over a month? Or that the wall next to the front door has been covered by some kind of reddish sticky fingerprints (jam, maybe?) for weeks and I haven't cleaned it yet?

Sometimes I feel so sad that I just can't do everything that I want to. Why, oh why can't I just have another hour or two per day? Or maybe a maid! But this type of thinking doesn't help. The only thing that helps I find, is to try to pace myself. Instead of fretting and running around, I have to force myself to take a deep breath, and move slowly and deliberately through each task. I try to take the time to do each thing properly, because tasks rushed through don't feel really completed at all, and then I feel even worse. For example, I have to force myself to properly brush my teeth and not rush, I have to force myself to sip my tea instead of gulp, I have to force myself to stay and cuddle with the baby for a while after she has fallen asleep because I know I need a rest too...even though I want to rush away and have a look at my 'to do' list. Forcing myself to slow down requires a great deal of self control, but I have learned it's the only way to get anything properly done and not feel like I'm losing my marbles.

Does anyone else notice this same phenomenon? I mean, that rushing and multitasking really don't work in the long run, that the only way to stay sane is to slow down, even if things don't get done?

By the way, sorry there are no pictures today...I tried taking pictures of the laundry piles waiting to be done and the toys waiting to be shipped, but my camera died...because I keep forgetting to recharge the batteries! One more thing on my 'to do' list! ;)

Comments

[Molly Makes Do]

You're not alone =D

[Carol]

Right there with you! So glad someone elses to-do list constantly has the same things on it (I had "Make Harley's baby quilt" on mine for two years!). Happy Thursday!

[Mary]

Awww... (((Hugs Laura!))) I'd love to come be your maid a few times a week! :) Wish we could be country neighbors! :)

My Mom fondly recalls those years as the 'survival mode' years, but you've got the right idea: they're beautiful years--don't let em go to waste! :)

Love!
Mary

[Caroline Pestka]

Goodness, sounds a whole lot like my life! I have 4 little ones, the oldest is 7, who I put to work to help out. I find that unless everyone helps out, nothing gets done. So that floor that needs to be swept- have your oldest do it. Even a 3 year old can wipe jam off a wall. I find that my kids actually like having adultish chores to do. Have you looked into the book "Managers of their Homes?" It has great advice on how to schedule your day to fit everything in. It helped me a lot. Anyway, love reading your blog! Caroline

[Jeanneke]

Great blog you have! I love reading it; you're on my bloglist.
Cheers,

Jeanneke.

[Julia]

I can relate to this Laura...I call those days "Wash, Rinse and Repeat" Days...or Rocking Horse Days...where you are constantly moving but not getting anywhere...well..that's what is FEELS like!

You are not alone..I'm sure thousands of mamas around the world feel the same way. I guess that's where the term "A woman's work is never done" because we CAN'T get it done LOL!

So take a deep breathe...enjoy a cuppa with a snack when it all gets too much...because it all still be waiting for you...just you'll be feeling that little bit more refreshed.

You are doing a GREAT job and the are a wonderful wife and mama to your babies!

[Shannon]

At least after days like this we go to bed feeling like we've accomplished something, a lot of somethings even. Personally I feel just awful if I climb into bed without having got anything useful done in that day and then I sleep fretfully! :)

[Marlyn]

The issues at hand are that house work is never done. You can get through that pile of laundry and it will be starting you in the face again in two or three days. A good way to look at it is that if you had an office job, those piles of papers would be there day after day too.

Being at home is the BEST thing for your children. Laundry and dishes are just things. It is the time you spend with them. Quality time that in the long run counts.

When you get older you will miss the mounts of laundry and stacks of dishes. You laugh at me now, but it does happen. One by one they leave the nest and you will struggle to fill that hole of fullness.

[Laura Jeanne]

Hi Caroline,
I know I need to involve the kids more in housecleaning. Naturally, since they have not always done it they are not always enthusiastic about the idea! It's something we're working on.

I have heard of that book but not read it. Thanks for the reminder, it might be helpful. :)

[Laura Jeanne]

Oh I don't laugh at you Marlyn...I know full well that some day I will miss this busy time. :)

[Erin]

Laura,

I could have written this blog post on many, many days of my mothering life. I have four kiddos so I'm right there with you in terms of general home craziness, and homeschooling and life with babies. It is a juggling act and I often feel I am dropping one of the balls. That's okay though!

I'm coming to see the beauty in the crumbs and the piles of laundry by trying, just for a moment or two (when I remember), to imagine what my home feels like to our guests who enter it. What do they sense when they enter? I know for me, if everything looked the way I wished it would all the time, I would as a guest, feel like I might be messing the place up just by coming in the door. I know our friends feel at home and feel they can bring their children inside and just "be".

You are probably doing a way better job than you think! The days are long, but the years are short. Love your family and know that you are giving them the gift of yourself which is so much more important than a clean house or a fully completed to do list. Blessings to you Laura!

[Susanna]

i've been out of blogging for a bit, but happy to be back :) Happy to be back on your blog too! And I just wanted to encourage you...you are definitly not alone!! I just had my 5th little one a few weeks ago, and I'm feeling very overwhelmed at tmes :) but it's true...just take a break, and try to enjoy every day - your "success" at the end of the day is not measured by how much you got done, it's how much time you spent LOVING your precious ones!

[rhoda]

I loved your post - believe me, most day's I am right there with you! i long for a simple life - I love the wooden toys and baby bowls in your store - my hubby would love to have a hobby woodshop sometime. I also wanted to say thanks for entering the Shaklee giveaway at the prairie homestead last month - I'd love it if you'd check out my blog at www.srkindredspirits.blogspot.com

[Marijke - Petite Daphne]

Dear Laura! It's wonderful you dare speak about those things. You have a hard job, but there is nothing as great as your job, being at home with your children every day! I'm having only one child, but I am feeling just as overwhealmed as you describe from time to time, resulting in me not seeing what to do first and then doing not enough. It helps me so much to write myself a clear to-do list in the morning. Not with everything there is to do, I would never get that all done. But just a few things from the 'big list', with a clear time schedule. The most important thing in this schedule is, not to forget to give yourself a 10-15 minutes tea time every 1 1/2 to 2 hours. You need to take some small times of doing nothing and just enjoy something to drink (so important!) and sit down a little moment. Sometimes, the first time I sit down, except from the meals, is at 8pm. I think that is just not good for me. If I don't take care of myself, I do not have the energy to take enough care of my girl, is my feeling. Please do not forget to take me-times a few times a day! And brushing teeth or showering you don't need to schedule as me-time. Or do you really relax, washing your hair as quick as possible while you need to do so much more, right now? Please take care of yourself. Only if you feel good, you can be really good to the ones you love. You are the first!

And I really, really like to read your blog, thanks so much for sharing..

[Lise]

Oh, this sounds so familiar! If you could see my house right now!! (And yet here I sit, reading. But I need a breather now and then...) Know you're not alone!

[Emma]

You just put into words what I am also very often feeling!!