What we do without.

I was recently rereading this old post of mine, in which I mused on the meaning of "simple living."  I wrote that to me, simple living means

"embracing a basic, fundamental form of living--shrugging off all the excess complications of modern society, and instead living in harmony with the land and the seasons, rising with the sun, growing one's own food, enjoying the company of family and friends, staying close to home. This type of life that I picture seems to me to be the way people have lived for hundreds, even thousands of years, before modern technology changed our basic patterns of life."

Then I got to thinking: What "excess complications of modern society" have we, as a family, shrugged off? I write often on this blog about the things we do, but rarely about the things we do not. And I think the latter is an important point too. Life is so busy and crowded in the 21st century, that we can all benefit from being selective about what, among all the abundance of everything out there, we allow into our lives.

1. Electronic gadgets. Although we love our home computer and use it for so much, we have never felt the need to own any kind of hand-held electronic gadgets. To be perfecty honest (and I know this will make me look silly) I'm not entirely sure what a Blackberry is. The kind I am familiar with is normally used to make jelly...

2. Cell phones. Neither Chris nor I has ever owned a cell phone. I just don't see the point. Yes, there have a been a few times he was at the grocery store and it would have been nice to be able to tell him to pick up something extra that I remembered, but in our view, this very occasional convenience isn't worth a monthly payment, as well as another object to carry around and try not to lose (I lose my keys often enough as it is!). We have a basic landline to our house, with one phone--which I bought second hand for $4--attached to it. This works just fine for us.

3. Two cars. We only drive one car, which is 15 years old. To me, one car is expensive and troublesome enough. I don't think I would want to have two cars to keep repaired and insured. Having only one car has the added effect that we tend to spend more time together, because we aren't able to go in different directions at the same time.

4. Television. We canceled our cable tv about 3 years ago, and never looked back. I love not having so much noise and so many advertisements floating throught the air in our home, and I especially love that my kids spend more time on imaginative play than they did in the cable tv days. We do have an old second hand tv that was given to us (just a regular tv, not wide-screen) that we use for occasional videos or DVDs.

5. News. We don't read the newspaper, listen to the radio, or otherwise seek out news at all. The constant stream of ready information today, I find to be overwhelming. Not to mention the fact that much daily news is depressing or upsetting. I have enough to worry about in my own daily life without worrying about what's in the news, too. Yes, I am often the last to know about important events, but if something truly monumental happens I'm sure to hear about it from family or friends--and much sooner too, than people would have heard of important news in previous times, when information might take months to make its way across the globe.

6. Extracurricular activities. We do put the kids in various activities at our local community centres (soccer, swimming, etc.) but never more than one activity at a time. With multiple children, our family life would quickly become far too busy if we put each of them in two or more activities. And I don't believe that the children themselves really like to be in a rush all the time. Right now the only thing going on is Owen's swimming lessons, and they are a fun weekly event, to which Kira often tags along to watch.

7. Fashion. Chris and I have never been the least concerned about the current fashions in clothing, furniture, home decorating, or vehicles, and I'm glad, because this has saved us so much fuss and bother over the years, and allowed us to be perfectly content with owning mostly inexpensive second hand possessions.

Those are just some of the common elements of modern life that we are happy to do without. We enjoy living our life simply, being together most of the time, working with our hands, and appreciating the things we have and the beauty of the natural world. Our children spend most of their free time doing things like digging in the sandbox or making play forts, rather than rushing around on a schedule. Although we have little money, overall our stress levels are very low.

I would love to hear my readers' comments on this topic. Please, share with me what things you have chosen to do without, in an effort to keep life simple and joyful.

Comments

[molly w.]

We do without a lot of the same things right now. Cars, we have two but they're basic, quality cars that we plan to have for at least the next 10 years, with both of us working having two cars actually makes things simpler for us since we work on opposite sides of town and at different times.
TV, just for watching movies - we have a Roku box for streaming Netflix (best thing ever), Pandora, TED and Weather - but we try to keep it at a minimum of one program a day and usually not that much, though we use Pandora to play a variety of music for our son.
I really want to get a landline phone again and ditch our cellphones, or keep one as a car phone for long trips.
Fashion, we keep a small amount of good quality clothes and shoes - honestly no one follows me around with a camera so no one notices I pull out them same comfortable and classy outfits every month. We are very picky when we replace an item and save up for something that will last a long while (unless we find it in the thrift store, my #1 stop)
I shun the extra electronic gadgets as well (Ipads, kindles, fancy phones), though I do like my Ipod as I have a vast collection of music.
Kids - we plan on doing the same thing with activities when Henry is older, our plan is music lessons, boy scouts and one sport or extra activity at a time.
We also limit our own activities as adults, luckily both my husband and I are homebodies, but even we pick and choose things to do and places to go. Since I work and have a baby I want to spend as much time with him as possible at this age so my life really revolves around my home right now - and I love it.

I'm glad we're not alone in this!

[Jen]

we're not one for gadgets or fancy cell phones/blackberrys. I don't really see the point. We do have a very basic cell phone, that just gets carried around for emergencies. I also have an mp3 player, which I love, but I do hate it when I'm carrying that, the phone, and my camera. It seems so frivolous. We have one car, and I hope to keep it that way. Even with the vehicle, I try to walk or bike whenever possible. We cancelled our cable over a year ago, and don't plan to look back. We're doing the free month of netflix, but I'm not sure if we'll keep it. I'd be fine without it, but my husband does enjoy it.

I liked that you mentioned news. I don't listen to the radio or read the paper. Every now and then I'll check out some news online, but like you, I tend to hear about stuff through the grapevine and that's fine for me. I'm trying to avoid all that negativity and commercialism. I've also banished facebook from my life. It's so much more pleasant without it.

We also do not own a microwave, and haven't for many years.

[Laura Jeanne]

Thanks for the reminder, Jen--I forgot to mention social networking. We no longer do Facebook, either. It can suck up so much time so easily!

We also haven't had a microwave for many years. Our kitchen is tiny, so I'm glad to have that chunk of counter space back.

[Elizabeth]

I just recently found your blog, through etsy. I love reading about your simple way of life. I live in Eastern Europe- and we try in some ways to keep our life simple too. We don't have a TV. We don't want it to come between us.

[Sara Shalom]

Hi! Thanks so much for your posts on this subject. I have been "lurking" here for a while (since you were on etsy) and feel very much like you are a kindred spirit. I have 5 young children and we make many of the same choices you do. Thanks for the reminder that we're not alone!

[Leigh]

This is an excellent topic. I'd have to say that we're with you on most of the things you mention. Of course, not have children at home means zero extracurricular activities for us, but I do think they provide an opportunity for children to develop new skills and find their talents. We do have cell phones. And that only because DH is an over the road truck driver, so it enables us to spend time together every night he's gone. I have the same sentiments about the car, though we do have two at the moment. His old pickup is on its last legs, and me jeep can't accommodate hauling like a pickup does. We figure we'll wait until we absolutely have to have another vehicle and then we'll likely just get one pickup, because I can always drive him to the terminal.

Like Jen, I did get DH an mp3 player, so he can listen to good music and good teachings when the radio stations are nothing but trash. We don't have a microwave either, though I do love my toaster oven and bread machine. These mean I don't have to use the big stove quite as often. :)

[Evi]

I'm glad that there are people out there that do not have a Facebook account, do not really know what a Blackberry is, own just a basic cellphone and hate the TV noise as well as not bothering at all about the news!
Honestly I felt guilty about the news thing until I read your blog and the other comments...
I hate negativity and this is all what we seem to get nowdays here in Greece!
Still waiting for the bowls and spoons, looking forward to receiving them for my kids to enjoy the nice summer fruit in them :)

[PlainandJoyfulLiving]

Hi Laura,
We do without much of the same as you - no cell phone, an old computer with dial up access, no gadgets, just a tv/dvd player for an occasional movie. One 19 year old suburban for our family of 8, limit the children's activities. Very few appliances - no microwave, hair dryer, etc...
No facebook either and very little media input.

We love our neighbors, family and community and being together as a family.
Thanks for sharing.
Warm wishes, Tonya

[Emily]

Similar for us too but I do wish my husband would get rid of the cell phone since its a big extra monthly payment. He refuses though. I find I am much more willing/wanting to do without than he is. Any suggestions for a reluctant spouse?

[Melanie]

Oh, I love this post. Thank you for posting this- often I feel like such an odd ball with no gadgets or TV or media knowledge. . . I do love my camera, and limited computer use, though the computer is not in our home, is in our music studio.
I so appreciate the doing without extra curricular activities- our children take violin and cello lessons, suzuki method. No other extra things, and often it makes me wonder if it's enough?
We do without all the same things as you, and very happily so! We do have 2 cars, one of them very, very old.
We do without many clothing items boughten, as I make a lot of what the children and I wear.
We do without pre-packaged "easy" foods with the exception of some organic o-shaped cereal, and grahm crackers- and eat whole foods.
There is more, but I hear my baby crying now-
<3 Melanie

[Melanie]

~ I thought I was maybe the only person alive without a face book account. . . ;)
Also we do without many appliance that most people deem necessary- namely a toaster/toaster oven, and microwave.

It's funny, when making a transition into "doing without" there is a getting used to period- but then it just becomes life, and is simple, and very rewarding!

[Lindsay]

We do without the same things that you've written about. We don't own a television, no cell phones (tho I do have a Blackberry as it is my way of receiving email, being out in the boonies with limited internet access), one very small vehicle. Also, no microwave, no air conditioning, no plastic containers, no dryer (we hang the clothes), no lawnmower, no video games, no disposable diapers, no meat, no plastic toys, no bottles, no stroller for the baby (but the bigger kids do enjoy a stroller/wagon ride), no crib, no battery-operated toys. That's all I can think of at the moment...

[Erin @ Embracing the Now]

Our families would definately click I think Laura! Sometimes I feel sorry for myself wishing we could have some of these things you mentioned, when our financial reality doesn't allow for them, but then I think of the freedom we have because we aren't chained to the payments, to debt, to a life of always wanting more and bigger and better because what we have is really enough for today and that's just good!

The peace comes from being satisfied with simplicity, doesn't it?

[Laura Jeanne]

You've got us beat, Lindsay, on several points. :)

I wish we could do without air conditioning. Every year we try, but the upstairs of our 3-story house, which has poor air circulation, just gets too sweltering to bear.

[Laura Jeanne]

I agree Erin, it's a very peaceful feeling, being satisfied with having less. :)

[PurelyHappy]

Our little family is slowly getting rid of things as well. We got rid of our TV and Netflix a few months ago. We dry our clothes out side now that I dont have to worry about the clothes freezing to the line lol. We use cloth diapers and wipes which saves a bunch of money! We both do have cell phones that have our internet on them, in turn we dont have to buy internet. We hardly ever call anyone on our phones though and if we do its only a couple times a week to get together with someone. We are discussing getting rid of them and just getting pay as you go phones. But, it is more expensive to cancel our contract than it would be to stick it out until the contract ends in a few months :P We are slowly moving towards not having to shop at our grocery store anymore by buying all of our dairy and produce from an amish farm as well as growing things in our tiny yard. Meat we get what my husband kills throughout the year. We are slowly 'getting there' its baby steps for us otherwise we might get quite overwhelmed and end up quitting and I dont want to do that! Im glad you asked what we do without, I have never really thought about it. Im pretty proud of our baby steps now lol

[Lindsay]

Oh, I can only imagine how hot your house must get! I'd have air conditioning too, if we were sweatin' like that :)

[Joy]

We have two cars; one is 23 years old (barely held together!) and the other is 14 years old. I hope they hold out, but, if one gives up the ghost (preferabley the really old one!), we can make do with the other. I backed down to basic cable, the husband watches TV in the evening, I'd be happy to pitch the TV. We don't have a lot of electronic gadgets, he does have a cell phone, and mine is a Trac phone--buy the minutes. We don't have much 'extra' money, so trips away from home are rare. I'm probably more content with that than he is. I'm with you on all the information--I don't need it 24/7.